I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
