do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
