i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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