you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
