the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
