We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Congratulations! We have a period
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
