sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
