Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
