you traded sex for a burrito?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize