This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize