So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
