I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
