Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
