And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
