All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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