I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize