they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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