so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
People in love make me want to vomit
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.