I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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