We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
