mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i permit you to call me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
