I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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