my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
