Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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