3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
