So drunk its hurt
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
