I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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