I'm really into asian looking animals
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
