I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
