Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
