Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
