Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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