beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
