he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
