Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
