It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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