youre lurking in front of me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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