I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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