i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can I color on your dick again?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
