you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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