It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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