@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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