just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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