well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
