So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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