I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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