I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
