the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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