I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
