One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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