A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
