ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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