Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
