Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
