The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
