Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So much Jack, so little girl.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
not ubering you a puppy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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