Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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