he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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