They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
