I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
