You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize