The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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