I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
