Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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