Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
