You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
