Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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