He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
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Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
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omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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