I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Two words: blizzard sex
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
